Facing An Ugly Truth
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Can't see the 'ShareThis' icon? Reload your page view by pressing Shift and clicking Refresh at the same time.I never thought I would have to deal with school violence on a personal level. Up until recently, I never had any children that I was responsible for, and to. That changed for me this year. Two young women – one in elementary and one in high school – as well as a young man in high school.
To say that their inclusion in my life, along with their mother, is an amazing experience would be an understatement. But I’m not quite up to speed yet.
The incident at Luther Collage High School yesterday could have ended so differently than it did. Thankfully, no one was physically hurt. Emotionally, it may be a different story.
I haven’t had a chance to have that conversation with the kids yet. You know, the one where I try and explain that sometimes-bad things are going to happen for no apparent reason. I haven’t even had a chance to figure out what to say and how to say it. I didn’t get the practise over the last 16 years or so.
I’ll screw up sometimes – we all do – but hopefully I’ll get it right more often than not.
Becoming marginally responsible for the first time… Dave
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Dave's a parent
Congratulations Dave, on the most difficult job in the world - being a parent.
When you consider that a toaster, which has 4 elements, a rudimentary dial for burn or no burn and a lever to push the bread down, comes with a manual three quarters of an inch thick, you'd expect the parents' manual to come on 500 DVDs. Of course, the truth is that you get no manual with your kids.
Such an amazing and often unnerving task, parenting is something that most moms and dads relish, but do not comprehend. That is if they are anything like me.
If I have any advice for you, it is to talk with other parents and talk with them often. Do NOT assume that what they tell you is the right thing to do (or even the truth!), but it will give you a sampling of options. Be candid with them when you have something you are not sure how to deal with. Feel free to lie to them, as long as there is some logic and a basic honesty to what you are saying.
The worst feeling in the world for a parent (IMHO) is one of being alone in a situation. Something is going on, and you honestly believe that it hasn’t happened to another family. Trust me when I tell you that it has. A good chunk of those parents will deal with it incorrectly. But, amazingly, as if some genetic code was at work, the overwhelming majority seem to get it right.
Talk to other parents. Most will trip over themselves to chat back, especially when they find out that their kid isn’t the only one to pull this or that boner move. I think this partially what people mean when they say it takes a community to raise a child.
Good Luck Dave! And remember to tell your kids you love them – EVERY SINGLE DAY!
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